TV: New Girl 1.10 “The Story of the 50” Best Lines

Posted: January 18, 2012 in Best Lines, Television
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New Girl 1.10 “The Story of the 50” (***) — When Schmidt’s plans for his 29th birthday fall apart, Jess takes charge and enlists the help of her school’s party hungry vice-principal. Meanwhile, Nick begrudgingly has his first date at Schmidt’s party with a beautiful lawyer who harbors a secret, and the gang wonders who placed a 50 dollar bill in the douchebag jar.

“Apparently, my business isn’t as important as Frankie Muniz’s…is.” — Schmidt

“You honk the nipple. It’s pretty awesome.” — Schmidt

“We have a very weird girl-style friendship where we kind of hate each other. We’re bronemies. Frienesis.” — Schmidt

“Last year he went to party and he said ‘bros before hos on the moon.’ What does that even mean?” — Nick

:::Nick and Julia doing Bill Cosby impressions:::

“Before you, there was nothing. I’ve got no girls on the horizon…in a hot way.” — Nick

“I’d like to order a last minute stripper. Preferably Asian…heritage. Very bendy with a heart of gold and a crotch of gold.” — Jess

“Are you bringing the stripper? Cause I’d really like to see her jugs first. I’d like to do well for my bro.” — Jess

“I will pay you $50 to never show us your penis?” — Jess
“What about tips?” — Stripper Fuller

“Who are you?!” — Nick

“Why are you looking at me like that?” — Jess
:::Schmidt gets rejected by Jess:::
“…cause you have fuzz on your face.” — Schmidt

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