TV: Parks and Recreation 4.12 “Campaign Ad” Best Lines

Posted: January 19, 2012 in Best Lines, Television
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Parks and Recreation 4.12 “Campaign Ad” (***1/2)– Leslie and Ben disagree on her campaign ad, specifically on whether or not to attack their opponent (played by Paul Rudd). Meanwhile, April and Andy go to the doctor.

“I am a lifelong government bureaucrat who’s well-versed in the issues. And those are the kind of sexy qualifications that win elections.” — Leslie

“Hey Ann, are you still or nurse? Or did they fire you because you slept with all the doctors?” — April

“Point is…I have a gold record.” — Andy

“You have insurance.” — Ann
“Neither of your asses is very smart…because insurance is something you have for your car.” — Andy

“Have you thought about cutting the entire fire department? I have personally put out several local fires, at no cost to the taxpayer.” — Ron

“I hit my head or my brain helmet.” — Andy

“I always go negative. Even if I like the guy, I go negative. Keeps them interested.” — Donna

“The important thing is the dam is never happening and your dream has been crushed.” — Ron
“We’re very sorry.” — Chris
“I’m not. Good meeting.” — Ron

“When I bet on horses, I never lose. Why? I bet on all the horses.” — Tom

“I’m thinking something raw and cucumber-based. A cucumber!” — Chris

“I don’t know what happened. I declined his invitation. He started laughing, and next thing I knew, we were at lunch. Did he drug me?” — Ron

“I think based on the redness, I might be allergic to getting stabbed by needles.” — Andy

“Some guy even looked at my doctor, touched it…” — Andy
“And that guy wasn’t even a doctor.” — April

“We did just had lunch last week, so we did spend enough social time together for the foreseeable…ever.” — Ron

“He strongly enjoys Japanese culture and I thought he wanted to go with you to the thing.” — Ron
“I was eating rice and Ron made me come up here.” — Kyle

“I’m not lonely. I have me and 4,000 Facebook friends.” — Chris

“We’re not going to quit the campaign. Why would we do that?” — Leslie
“Because I want it. Come on, give me it. Give me it. Give me it. Come on, give me it.  Just give me the election. Please. Please.” — Bobby
“Well he does make a compelling argument.” — Ben


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