TV: Unsupervised 1.1 “Pilot” Best Lines

Posted: January 22, 2012 in Best Lines, Television
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Unsupervised 1.1 “Pilot” (**1/2) — Two teens attempt to look older in hopes of getting the attention of girls. It’s a fairly comedic opening episode and certainly has the potential to be a surprise hit this spring. It’s no Archer, but FX delivers another mature adult comedy to satisfy our cravings while South Park is on a hiatus. Darius (Romany Malco) and Martin (Fred Armisen) in particular are hilarious in their supporting roles.

“You’re in charge of the whole house.” — Joel
“I know. I keep it clean as hell too. I freaking vacuumed the stairs yesterday.” — Gary
“You’ve got to. It’s important to be proud of where you live.”  — Joel

“I can’t tell if fights are cool or sad. It’s confusing.” — Gary

“Your voice is deep as hell.” — Joel
“Yup. Gettin’ them hairs up my ass too.” — Darius

“It’s all about them dong, son. It’s about the corn, son. Not the onions.” — Darius

“I’ve got a weight problem. They can stop jumping in bushes. My shit is genetic.” — Darius

“I can’t believe black people moisturize their skin so much.” — Joel

“It’s like a studio 54 in there.” — Martin

“They’re going to think they’re going to freaking get murdered.” — Joel
“But we’ll just be like ‘No, you’re not. It’s cool cause we’re here. Let’s pork.'” — Gary

“My underwear is older than I am.” — Joel

“Maybe you should go [to the party]. It might be fun.” — Megan’s mom
“That’s a great idea mom. Maybe I’ll just go to a crack house and get raped.” —  Megan

“You had sex with a kangaroo?” — Joel
“Even if I did, I did it for bloody science.” — Sid

“I thought you gave up soda.” — Joel
“It’s the weekend. I do me.” — Darius

“I got hair on my pits, though. I sweated right through my shirt the other day. I looked like a yard man.” — Joel

“I was selling rahdios at the rahdios shop.” — Martin

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