TV: New Girl 1.11 “Jess and Julia” Best Lines

Posted: January 31, 2012 in Best Lines, Television
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New Girl 1.11 “Jess and Julia” (***1/2) — Nick’s new Lawyer girlfriend Julia helps Jess fight a traffic ticket, but it results in a fight between the two girls. Meanwhile, Winston runs into an ex-lover of his. New Girl is such an infectious, cute little comedy that continues to impress.

“There are tampons hidden all over the apartment.” — Jess

“There should not be two girls in this bathroom. They’re too humid. They make everything damp.” — Schmidt

“You’re not labeling it because you’re too sophisticated.” — Jess
“Stop doing your sophisticated guy.” — Nick

“I told you to get yourself whatever you wanted. You chose water.” — Winston

“Those big beautiful eyes. Like a scared baby! I’m sure that gets you out of all kinds of stuff.” — Julia
“Except my peripheral vision is almost too good.” — Jess

“Schmidt is like Ellis Island in the 1800s. He accepts everyone.” — Jess

“She has a problem with me. Nick, your girlfriend is not a dessert person!” — Jess

“I’m going to put my dehumidifier and my towel in my room, where nothing ever gets wet.” — Schmidt

“She told him she didn’t want to label it.” — Jess
“That’s a classic move even in the lesbian community.” — Sadie
:::Schmidt runs out:::
“What are we talking about?” — Schmidt
“Did you just hear the words ‘lesbian community’ and come running out of your room?” — Sadie

“You have the most game because for years, you’ve been working with absolutely nothing.” — Winston

“Oh, you guys are using names? That’s not too labelly for you?” — Jess

“I’m having sex all the time. I’m like a mailman, except instead of mail…it’s hot sex I deliver.” — Nick
“I had to start athletic shoes in my purse. Because I have sprint from one sexual encounter to another. Can’t wear heels.” — Julia
“Well, I’m having sex right now under the bar. And she’s on top. So figure that out. Ow Ow.” — Nick

“I don’t act like Teddy Ruxbin.” — Jess

“Can you leave, please? Because I’m about to start crying and you are the last person that I want to cry in front of.” — Julia
“I want to cry too, and where am I supposed to cry? You can’t monopolize the bathroom crying space.” — Jess
:::finds Nick crying in the men’s room:::

“I hate your pant suit and I wish there were ribbons on it or something to make it slightly cuter.” — Jess

“My checks have baby farm animals on them, bitch.” — Jess

:::Schmidt gets accidentally naked:::
“What shape is that supposed to be shaved into?” — Cece
“I think he’s trying to force perspective.” — Jess
“You are Jewish.” — Cece
You’re making me gayer.”  — Sadie

“Boyfriend, that’s so lame. You’re totally going carry my books home from school.” — Julie
“I will if you wear my Leatherman Jacket.” — Nick
“It’s a Letterman Jacket.” — Julie

“Who washes a tower? A towel washes me!” — Nick

“What am I going to do? Wash a shower net? Wash a bar of soap?” — Nick

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Comments
  1. stinkandhincks says:

    This was such a good episode!

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