TV: 30 Rock 6.5 “Today You Are A Man” Best Lines

Posted: February 2, 2012 in Best Lines, Television
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30 Rock 6.5 “Today You Are A Man” (***1/2) — Liz and Jack engage in a brutal negotiations for Liz’s new contract. Meanwhile, Kenneth thinks about quitting the page program. Jenna and Tracy try to try a new thing: honesty.

“I bet he’s going to tell me I can’t write off all my shoplifting.” — Jenna

“Getting paid for a boy to become a man? It’s kind of my wheelhouse.” — Jenna

“I want a hospital bed in my office. A real one? I don’t care if it’s against the law to resell them.” — Liz

“I am not even a dog to you. When a dog goes missing, everyone’s upset cause there’s no dog milk for the babies.” — Kenneth

“These are the best clients you could get? Don’t you represent Gina Gerson?” — Adam
“My nemesis?!” — Tracy & Jenna

“When you are serious about an offer, you can email me at tatertotfreak@hotmail.com.” — Liz

“What is speaking a sign of?” — Jack
“Weakness?” — Audience member
“You. Out. Fired.” — Jack

“It’s the ultimate game. Jack Donaghy, playing with himself. It’s a Jack-off.” — Jack

“But he’s not famous. Why is the government letting him do this?” — Tracy

“Like all actors, I’m not emotionally mature enough to deal with my feelings, you fart face!” — Tracy
“I know you are, but what am I?” — Jenna

“Where’s the one place where you cannot lose?” — Jack
“Ice cream store!” — Liz

“Adam, trust me. Any girl would want to dance with you. You’re rich! And you’re fat so you’ll die young. Women love that.” — Jenna

“I’m going to tell you the same thing I tell my son. Put money in the girl’s mouth. Also, my friend Dal is your real father. Now, you go get ’em.” — Tracy

“Why does my coffee order say ‘the black one’?” — Toofer

“That would everyone’s life a whole lot better. Like the polio vaccine or no bottom strip club near Wendy’s!” — Tracy

“Nice try. I’m not wearing stockings. That’s a vein.” — Liz

:::THE JACK-OFF:::

“Looks like Tracy is missing someone.” — Pete
“He’s missing me. Boy, you’re dumb sometimes.” — Kenneth

“I brought you this popcorn tin. There’s no popcorn left, but it makes for a great closet organizer. Socks. Underwear. Bras.” — Liz

“I used to be a winner. Men wanted to be me. Women wanted to sleep with me. Bisexuals wanted to watch.” — Jack

“You didn’t realize emotion could be a weapon? Have you not read the poetry of Jewel?” — Liz

“After six years, there’s still growth in this friendship.” — Liz to the camera

“I am quitting the page program.” — Kenneth
“But you have no other skills.” — Liz
“He’s a white male with hair, Lemon. Sky’s the limit.” — Jack
“To white men!” — Liz

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