TV: The Office 8.13 “Jury Duty” Best Lines

Posted: February 3, 2012 in Best Lines, Television
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The Office 8.13 “Jury Duty” (***) — Jim returns after being away for jury duty, except he wasn’t at jury duty the entire time. Angela welcomes her new baby that may or may not be the Senator’s.

“Stress is like the uptight mayor of a town. “Hey we’re uptight. You can’t dance.’ O yea? Mayor stress, you watch this. And then we dance. O, how we dance!” — Andy
“Sex also works.” — Andy

“Angela had the baby.” — Erin
“Is it black cause that would be hilarious.” — Kevin
“Why?” — Daryl
“Because.” — Kevin
“Would it be more hilarious than if Angela had a Chinese baby?” — Daryl
“Yea!” — Kevin

“Did I win the pool?” — Erin
“Right month. Wrong year.” — Ellie

“Oscar’s the dad. I’m Oscar’s dad. And Angela’s the mom.” — Kevin

“Titillate us.” — Meredith

“Toby, shut your hole about the empanadas. Nobody cares about the empanadas.” — Meredith

“You warned me not to say anything if it was tiny, Oscar. But you didn’t prepare for a big, giant, fat baby.” — Kevin

“You have the right to remain silent. You have the right to beg for mercy. You have the right to request judgment by combat. Dwight’s rights!” — Dwight
“What’s up gangstas?” — Andy

“Have you heard of a Connecticut cover-up? You know why you never heard of it? Covered it up.” — Andy

“They used to call me King Tut because I’m so good at keeping things under wraps. My nickname was actually King Butt because I had a king size butt.” — Andy

“Do you have American Mexican food?” — Phyllis

“I was under so many drugs. I thought I was a James Taylor concert or something.” — Angela

“Jim, look me in the eye.” — Andy
:::Andy bitch slaps Jim:::

“Pajamas are not supposed to be baggy. It’s not the barrio.” — Angela

“Why am I shorter than the table I’m standing next to?” — Ryan

“Every baby looks like you. Your face looks like a baby.” — Angela

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