TV: Happy Endings 2.13 “The St. Valentine’s Day Maxssacre” Best Lines

Posted: February 9, 2012 in Best Lines, Television
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Happy Endings 2.13 “The St. Valentine’s Day Maxssacre” (***) — Penny wants to dump her boyfriend. Dave is afraid he is about to get dumped. Max inadvertently meets an old friend. And Brad gets drugged at the dentist’s office.

P.S…James Wolk guest stars and he is beautiful.

“I dumped a girl to close to her grandpa dying. It was like beep…beep…beep…beeeeeeep…badabow. I ran.” — Brad

“I do have the softest skin or I don’t have the softest skin. The wink is making it unclear.” — Penny

“Your skin is soft. It’s like butter, and I know because I’m comparing them right now.” — Brad
“Weird. I had the exact same dream last night. Except it wasn’t butter.” — Dave

“I get it. You’re not bumping me because I said VD.” — Brad
“No. We’re not bumping you because we’re not Howie Mandel.” — Penny

“Not as scary as what they did to St. Valentine. Hint: they ripped him tip to taint.” — Alex

“You gostah open up with a scrimp.” — Dave and Max

“I never had a cavity. Never even had a plaque. Except for the plaque they gave me for never having plaque.” — Brad

“Let’s face it. No one has ever had a friend in town.” — Penny

:::Brad Entering The Dentist’s Office Dance:::

“Ooh? I think you mispronounced Ahh!” — Brad

“I won’t get angry if I make in my pants. Seriously, I won’t sue if I poo.” — Brad

“No no no no. I’m not a whore.” — Alex

“I got my third wind! What time is it? (licks watch) Max is going to pick us up and take us to Tableu in his limo. (falls asleep) Fourth wind!” — Brad

“So you took Grant for granted.” — Alex
“That makes me sad when you said that.” — Max
“It’s true.” — Alex
“No. It makes me sad how you said that.” — Max

“I hate how you abbreviate everything.” — Reed
“People love my abbrevs.” — Penny

“I know this is something you wanted for a long time. Your first email address was threesomechaser@” — Penny

“Fat Joey!” — Brad to Max

“Since Dennis Farina is straight, I thought we should hang out.” — Max


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