TV: Modern Family 3.14 “Me? Jealous?” Best Lines

Posted: February 9, 2012 in Best Lines, Television
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Modern Family 3.14 “Me? Jealous?” (***) — Phil wants to impress his new business partner (Greg Kinnear) who is inappropriate to Claire. Mitchell and Gloria try to coexist in the same house.

“Somebody has a man crush.” — Alex
“First of all, I would never date a potential client.” — Phil
“That’s first of all?” — Claire

“He got divorced and now he has time to do all that. He’s living the dream. His dream. Not my dream. You’re my dream.” — Phil

“We couldn’t be prouder.” — Phil
“We could. A little bit.” — Claire

“Movie night!” — Mitchell and Gloria laugh
“It’s noisier than usual around here.” — Jay

“You should come with a warning. Maybe fascinating.” — Phil

“Did you see that?” — Claire
“A handshake that almost became a hug? Yea, I saw it. I lived it. I think I’m in!” — Phil
“No, honey. He kissed me on the lips.” — Claire

“Let me fix your hair.” — Gloria
“I didn’t realize her hair was broken.” — Cam

“He brought me wine. He took his shirt off when you were here!” — Claire
“He brought us wine. And it doesn’t look super vacuumed down there. I’m surprised he kept his pants on.” — Phil

“I think your sister is mad at our sister.” — Annie
:::Luke’s confused face:::

“Be normaler.” — Luke

“Where is the cheese grater?” — Gloria
:::Cam shows:::
“Where is the cutting board?” — Gloria
“Where would you want it to be?” — Cam
“…right next to the cheese grater…” — Gloria

“Don’t need to talk about it. I was out of line coming down there. It won’t happen again. Scotch is at the bar.” — Jay
“No I’ve been giving this a lot of thought.” — Mitchell
“I guess we’re going to talk about.” — Jay

“Mockery is the sincerest form of flattery.” — Jay
“That’s not the saying.” — Mitchell

“When I say ‘What do lawyers need for birth control?’ and I say ‘personality’, I’m not referring to you. You don’t need any birth control.” — Jay

“You can kiss my wife. You can take her to bed. But you cannot make her laugh. I want to go back. You can kiss my back. But only I can take her to bed and make her laugh. I want to go back. Only I can take my wife to bed, comma, and make her laugh.” — Phil

“You laugh like it was Who’s On First.” — Phil
“What?” — Claire
“He’s on second. Don’t try to cheer me up.” — Phil

“You can fake anything you want with me. But not your laugh.” — Phil

“You guys are in a lot of trouble. Haley, I told you clean this mess up and Alex, your books are everywhere. Betty Luke, sit down while your dad gets the camera.” — Claire

  1. Moment Matters says:

    HAHA Modern Family is just a great great show!!

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