TV: Archer 3.4 “Drift Problem” Best Lines

Posted: February 10, 2012 in Best Lines, Television
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Archer 3.4 “Drift Problem” (***) — A series of chaotic events begins with Archer getting a gift for his birthday.

:::Woodhouse throws confetti on Archer’s breakfast:::
“It’s okay. I’m just wait here while you make me a whole new breakfast not covered in garbage.” — Archer
“It’s not garbage, sir.”
“Scraps of paper. Yes, which by definition, is garbage.” — Archer

“Make nutella waffles.” — Archer
“Mmmm.” — Woodhouse
“Nutella steak and eggs?” — Archer

“Ferries Bueller. You’re my hero.” — Ray

“Ow! I think.” — Ray

“Press that red button.” — Dr. Krieger
“Wait. Is it going to kill everybody?” — Archer
“Press that blue button.” — Dr. Krieger

“It makes a Mach 5 look like a vagina.” — Archer

“I’m going to stop talking to you because I’m pretty sure that was a recording. I mean it was, right?  Whatever.” — Archer

“It’s black, power, sexy. Like if Ron O’Neal was a car.” — Archer

“I hoped it had some cloaking device?” — Archer
“No. Because then I’d be standing in it.” — Woodhouse

“Sorry. But you were acting all bimbo-ey.” — Woodhouse

“Who taught you how to drive?” — Malory
“This guy I know called my dead father?” — Cheryl
“Oh, I uh” — Malory
“Yeah. I bet you feel like a dick.” — Cheryl

“Can’t see shit. My car is shot to shit. And I only three shitty payments…” — Pam


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