TV: Modern Family 3.15 “Aunt Mommy” Best Lines

Posted: February 16, 2012 in Best Lines, Television
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Modern Family 3.15 “Aunt Mommy” (***) — Claire and Phil plan a celebratory dinner after Phil sells a house, but the drunken decisions they make create a somewhat awkward situation.

“She has super good hearing, like a seeing-eye dog. They have over-developed hearing so they can make up for the fact that they…dogs aren’t blind. Wait, are they? No, that wouldn’t make sense.” — Haley

“So you can’t talk unless it’s about my chores?” — Phil

“For some people, the shampoo doesn’t work. It only makes the lice angry.” — Leon

“Where was he going?” — Jay
“I don’t know. But according to the song he was singing, he was going to the sunny side of the street.” — Gloria
“I cannot express to you enough how badly he needs football.” — Jay

“We have an expression around teh office for when a sale just isn’t happening: Commission Impossible. Maybe for some people.” — Phil

“Commision…Accomplished.” — Jay

“Thank God. Nobody’s dead.” — Claire
“Or. We’re all dead.” — Luke

“I’m going to play a new drinking game. It’s called Every time I’m depressed, I take a drink.” — Cam
“That game exists. It’s called alcoholism.” — Mitchell

“If you could make a baby that was a mix of two you, I would love that baby so much.” — Phil

“I make really good babies. I have like magic eggs or something. They’re like golden.” — Claire

“I think we’re all having a baby.” — Phil

“I just get drunk and bring a baby into the world?” — Claire
“That would be 4 for 4.” –Phil

“What are the chances your eggs even work? What are the chances we pretend I never said that?” — Phil

“That’s it. Phil says no.” — Claire
“Like they’ll believe that I overruled you.” — Phil

“This is me and Justin Timberlake.” — Cam
“Cam, we have a problem.” — Mitchell
“O, what? You can talk about Ryan Gosling all day, but I…” — Cam

“You’re going to have Cam’s baby just to keep things from getting weird?” — Phil

“No, we’re hardly pioneers. You have three different hair dryers for different types of weather.” — Mitchell

“You don’t get to tell everyone how to live their lives. That boys cannot spend time with their mommies. Or that brothers and sisters can’t make babies.” — Gloria

“In a few short moments, thanks to the magic of technology, we’ll know what our baby actually looks … What happened? What is that?” — Cam
“Did you put one of us upside down?” — Mitchell
“No, that’s actually us. Okay, I don’t want to see this anymore.” — Cam

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