TV: Parks and Recreation 4.15 “Dave Returns” Best Lines

Posted: February 16, 2012 in Best Lines, Television
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Parks and Recreation 4.15 “Dave Returns” (***) — Leslie and Ben have an awkward run-in with Leslie’s ex-boyfriend Dave. Meanwhile, the rest of the gang go to the studio to record a song for the campaign.

“We have Cookie Tush. Winnie the Boot. Lady Presh Presh. Ann Berry Sauce. Annie Get Your Boot. Tommy’s Girl. Annie Banana.” — Tom

“Feel like you’re embawassed by me.” — Tom
“That is accurate.” — Ann
“Can I at least change my facebook status to “in a relationship”? — Tom
“Definitely not.” — Ann
“It’s complicated?” — Tom

“I’m not afraid of cops. I have no reason to be. I never break any laws ever because I’m deathly afraid of cops.” — Ben

“The boys in blue are heroes. Obvious some more than others. O boy, here it comes. 9/11.” — Ben

“It’s kind of like ‘We are the World’ except I actually it could have a real impact on society.” — Andy

“We’re going to have dinner at a really nice, new, French restaurant.” — Leslie
“Well, I’m going to go to the gas station and get a frozen burrito and eat it right there at that table.” — Dave

“Double endorsement. Ooh. That sounds like an Ashley Judd movie.” — Leslie

“I want this to have the electricity of a live concert.” — Andy
“So we have to play it perfectly every time?” — Band member
“Ha! No Burly. Play it unperfectly?” — Andy
“You mean imperfectly?” — Band member
“Perfectly.” — Andy
“God. That was hot nonsense.” — April

“Fine. I told them we went on a date.” — Tom
“When?” — Ann
“As soon as I possibly could.” — Tom

“When you two spoon, who spoons who?” —  Donna

“Wizingham Manor!” — Ben

“You look like I could use some company.” — Dave

“I already said I’m going to go and I’m a man of my word. So I guess I’m going to go.” — Dave

“He’s in love with you and he has a gun?” — Ben

“I got some hot tea with honey. Good for the voice. I recommend you all try it. Mine is really just a cup of honey cause tea is gross.” — Andy

“I don’t want to brag, but I have a ton of experience with women being mad at me.” — Tom

:::Chris Traeger Singing:::

“If you want another date, keep walking away. She’s still walking.” — Tom

“I still have feelings for Leslie in a womanly fashion. And I believes she feels the same way in a manly way.” — Dave

“I just said one thing and you’re contriring me.” — Dave
“I don’t think that’s a word.” — Ben

“What were you thinking?” — Leslie
“I was thinking that I would cuff him and I could have time to speak to you and you would decide to be with me and we could come back here and we could uncuff him together.” — Dave

“I never thought I’d say this to you, son. But I think you may be over-thinking this.” — Ron (to Andy)

“I don’t want to say I told you so but…” — Leslie
“What? I was the one who didn’t want to go.” — Ben
“Yeah. I was hoping you would forget.” — Leslie

“I was waiting outside in the rain for you. Cause I thought you would come out be all like ‘Aw. He’s so wet. That’s so romantic.’ But you didn’t and now, I got the sniffies.” — Tom

“Good man. I mean him for doing that. Not the man who called you bitch. You tell me where he is. I’ll punch him too.” — Dave

“Pretty sweet sauce in there, eh, Ace?” — Ben
“What’s wrong with you?” — Police Chief

“I’m about to endorse ten beers into my mouth because this has been an incredibly stressful evening.” — Leslie

:::Tom Haverford Singing:::

“The four sweetest words in the English language. ‘You wore me down.'” — Tom

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