TV: Parks and Recreation 4.16 “Sweet Sixteen” Best Lines

Posted: February 23, 2012 in Best Lines, Television
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Parks and Recreation 4.16 “Sweet Sixteen” (***) — The department forgets about Jerry’s birthday, so Leslie throws him a party.

“I’m also volunteering for Wheels for Meals on Wheels. We repair vans for Meals on Wheels.” — Leslie

“I’m pretty sure you’ve worn that sweater four days in a row.” — Ron
“Or I own four identical versions of the same sweater.” — Leslie
“No. You don’t. There’s an old lollipop that’s been stuck to back since Tuesday.” — Ron
“That’s the style now, Ron. It’s called lollipopping. All the kids are doing it.” — Leslie

“Sorry, Ann. You can’t open this gift. It’s for the most beautiful girl in Pawnee. Hold up, hold up, hold up, hold up, hold up. Wait. That’s you.” — Tom

“How about this option? We put the hats on…” — Tom
“Don’t say it.” — Ann
“We take everything else off.” — Tom

“The dog training class I took is conducted entirely in German. And so now I’m fluent in German. Words relating to dogs.” — Chris

“I got him plenty of exercise. He’s healthier than ever.” — Chris
“Did his leg grow back? Ah, no. That’s okay” — Andy

“My birthday is February 29th. So I only get one real birthday once every four years. But it’s great because my wife Gale makes such a big deal out of it.  We go for this huge piece of cotton candy cheesecake from Cake and Jay’s cheesecake facility. And then, we hold hands for a while. We listen to some Anita Baker, she meets up with some friends and I turn in early.” — Jerry

“Sixty-four divided by four is…” — Leslie
“Sixty-four.” — Andy

“Four years from now, he might be retired…or dead.” — Leslie

“If you listen closely, that’s the bubbling of the hot tub. You do not have access to it.” — Donna

“Ginuwine? The Ginuwine is your cousin? How do I not know this?” — Tom
“Who’s Ginuwine?” — Ann
“Ginuwine? Ginuwine is Ginuwine. He’s Ginuwine.” — Tom

“When I’m dating someone, I have a list called O-no-nos. If a woman commits an O-no-no, it can end the relationship. Not loving 90s R&B music is #3 on the O-no-nos list. Girl doesn’t even know who Ginuwine is.” — Tom

“Is this because I forgot to invite Jerry to his own birthday party?” — Leslie
“It does seem like an oversight.” — Ron

“You are going to say sabbatical shmamatical. Leslie can do it all. She’s the best and I’m stupid.” — Llies
“That does sound like me.” — Ron

“Here’s a fun game. Let’s talk minimum acceptable thread count for sheets.” — Tom
“Ooh. That does sound fun.” — Ann
“Stop me when I hit it. 1,000. 800. 700. 600? Ann, I’m at 600. Are you really not stopping me?” — Tom
“I have those cotton T-shirt sheets.” — Ann
“Huh?!?!!?” — Tom

“She’s never seen a single Paul Walker movie? That’s a huge O-no-no.” — Tom

“I own more pairs of Uggs than she does.” — Tom

“I was getting kind of sick of listening Tom and Ann talk about their relationship. And then I remembered alcohol existed. Thank you, alcohol.” — April

“Jerry? Where the hell could he be?” — Leslie
“Maybe someone else had a surprise party and actually remembered to invite him.” — Ron

“I got to get dressed.” — Jerry
“No. There’s no time!” — Leslie
“There’s time, Jerry. Get dressed.” — Ron

“Ann, we consistently agree on who wore it best. You still an iPad 1. You read books all the time.” — Tom

“You make me see terrible movies and then you talk through them. You put 20-inch rims on Your Volkswagen Golf. And you insist on being introduced as The Brown Gosling.” — Ann
“Everything you just said made me like me more.” — Tom

“We’re going to throw Jerry an aamzing sweet 16th surprise party no matter how agonizing  it is for all of us.” — Leslie
“That’s the spirit.” — Ben

“Champion! Come here boy. I have an organic gluten-free soy bone for you.” — Chris

“Jerry’s work is often adequate…” — Ron

“Jerry has a wife and three beautiful daughters of full life. And its amazing. April and Andy has Champion and that’s amazing. I have a step-0brother who lives in London and 2.8% body fat.” — Chris

“They want to talk to you because you’re important to them.” — Andy
“Yes, but I hate them.” — April

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