TV: 30 Rock 6.10 “Alexis Goodlooking and the Case of the Missing Whisky” Best Lines

Posted: March 1, 2012 in Best Lines, Television
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30 Rock 6.10 “Alexis Goodlooking and the Case of the Missing Whisky” (***1/2) — Tracy and Jenna team up and investigate the case of Pete’s missing whiskey. Kenneth tries to make it in the corporate world with the help of Jack. Liz pretends to Frank’s girlfriend.

“If the situation was reversed, you know I would pretend to be your boyfriend.” — Frank
“I have a boyfriend…in Canada.” — Liz

“I’m not an old pedophile.” — Liz
“We prefer the term adultaphobe.” — Lynn

“I got really good at hiding in prison and making wine in my toilet.” — Lynn

“We need to go along with this until my mom dies.” — Frank
“Or when I die.” — Lynn

“Living a lie will eat you up inside like that parasite I got from eating sushi on Amtrak.” — Liz

“I couldn’t work in ad sales. We have far too many sponsors that make housework easier for women.” — Kenneth

“Before he died, my father gave me a piece of advice: Son, if you want to get ahead in this world, o god this hurts. Tell your mother I’m gay.” — Kenneth

“An opera? Is there singing? Cause I sing. Tracy doesn’t sing, so I should do it. The audience expects it. I’ll sleep with you.” — Jenna

“Someone with a key to my office. A janitor or a security guard or some black…hearted individual. Probably white, has ruined the Hornberger hang for all of us.” — Pete

“You sound like a cop and I should know. My uncle was a cop in a porno.” — Tracy

“Every blonde actress in the business has done a pilot about a tough, but pretty lady cop with special abilities. Mine was called Good Looking. I played Alexis Goodlooking, who was also good looking and my special ability was being good at looking for clues.” — Jenna

“Like all black actors, I have a lot of experience playing a wise black fellow who gets reluctant white people to do things.” — Tracy

“Kenneth, a word?” — Jack
“Balloon!” — Kenneth

“He’s the best friend I’ve ever had. Tied with everyone I ever met.” — Kenneth

“I’ve never crushed anyone except accused witches.” — Kenneth

“As we say in Italy, all you have to worry about is farting.” — Mrs. Rossitano

“Mr. Pfister just took me to the woodshed, which I didn’t even realize could be a metaphor.” — Kenneth

“I guess I signed off on a script where an Asian character refers to Rindsey Rohan posing for Prayboy. But I know that’s very offensive, especially because Asians are underrepresented on this network.” — Kenneth
“Exactly. If there are more actors of…” — Roy
“Shut up Roy!” — Kenneth
“No one wants to hear from you.” — Bradley

“These meatballs are good! Like Ikea good!” — Liz

“I hate to say Told ya, because it reminds me of my one night stand with Nikki Finke.” — Jack

“For the good of the company and the country.” — Jack
“My two favorite kinds of music.” — Kenneth

“I broke the number rule of being on the force.” — Jenna
“Don’t fall in love with your car?” — Tracy
“No. I let it get personal.” — Jenna
“You’re right. The car thing is stupid.” — Tracy, caressing a photo of a car

“I haven’t gained weight in months. It wasn’t worth it.” — Frank

“That sofa is made from Seabiscuit.” — Jack

“We have you dead to right, you black bastard.” — Tracy to Toofer

“We know you ordered a porn version of Temple Gradin, entitled Tent Poles Rammed In.” — Jenna

The sight of these people, plus the crayons I ate, make me sick.” — Tracy

“You’re the most remarkable person I’ve known and I’ve met Jaleel White, incredibly charismatic. He makes Stephon Urquelle look like Steve Urkel.” — Jack

“That was some high-level paranoid thinking. Like Hitler or Willy Wonka.” — Jack

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