TV: Archer 3:10 “Crossing Over” Best Lines

Posted: March 1, 2012 in Best Lines, Television
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Archer 3.10 “Crossing Over” (***) — Archer’s sex life compromises his effectiveness as an agent. But more seriously than the countless other times.

“Forget the glass, Woodhouse. Just give me the pitcher. For I am a sinner in the hands of an angry God. Bloody Mary, full of vodka. Blessed are you among cocktails. Pray for me now that the hour of my death, which I hope is soon. Amen.” — Archer

“What did I just put inside me?” — Archer
“Green Russians! It’s Absinthe and milk sweet shit snacks. Look at those!” — Pam

“I’m Pacman Jones!” — Pam, throwing waffles at the strippers

“I’m bound up tighter than Dick’s hat band.” — Pam

“Sometimes, I feel like I failed as a mother.” — Mallory
“Sometimes?” — Archer

“This time, get in there. All you been doing is giving one side hell.” — Pam

“You can bet that every KGB agent and freelance assassin this side of Berlin will be hunting him down like a dog.” — Mallory
“Who hunts dogs?” — Archer
“Orientals. Duh.” — Cheryl

“You make me sound like some kind of chupacabra. But for dicks.” — Pam
“A terrifying, yet accurate comparison.” — Archer

“Where are you guys going?” — Archer
“A town called work?” — Cyril

“Don’t you ever disrespect her.” — Jakov
“You’re not my dad.” — Archer
:::Archer and Jakov laugh:::
“How would you know?” — Jakov

“It’s a DVD, a box of wine, some hot pockets and off to bed.” — Pam
“No! It’s not a box of wine…” — Mallory

“The man who might have been my father just died.” — Archer
“Awkward.” — Pam
“Instead of doing my job, I was here half-drunk and having amazing drunk.” — Archer
“Well, I wouldn’t say amazing. What? Come on, you were pushing rope.” — Pam

  1. Clay says:

    Not to split hairs but you may have heard a slightly edited version of the show. Your qoute;

    “Who hunts dogs?” — Archer
    “Marmaduke. Duh.” — Cheryl

    was really

    “Who hunts dogs?” — Archer
    “Orientals. Duh.” — Cheryl

    Just an FYI.

  2. mrsubjective says:

    Good catch. Fixed.

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