TV: Modern Family 3.17 “Leap Day” Best Lines

Posted: March 1, 2012 in Best Lines, Television
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Modern Family 3.17 “Leap Day” Best Lines (***1/2) — With Cameron’s birthday falling on Leap Day, Mitchell feels the pressure. Phil deals with the three women in his house getting on the same cycle. Gloria wants Jay to stand up for her.

“I can be spontaneous every four years.” — Claire

“Nobody is looking at you, Jay.” — Gloria
“Somebody’s proud of herself.” — Jay
“They’re going to be looking at the match.” — Jay
“You meant you, a little bit.” — Jay

“Happy Birthday to me! I’m 10!” — Cam
“40!” — Mitchell

“Rom-com or horror? Or we can do both and watch  Maid in Manhattan.” — Mitchell

“Yellow brick carpet, wait staff in full costume, and custom ruby slippers for Cam. Wazzup!” — Mitchell

“Your mom’s just feeling emotional.” — Phil
“She was like this last month and the month before and the month before and the month before.” — Luke

“I heard rumors. Yeah, we all had. that females living or working in close quarters could eventually get on the same cycle. But I always thought that was a story to keep women out of the submarine corp.” — Phil

“The first rule of dealing with cycle — you never mention the cycle. You tiptoe around it.” — Phil

“The woman actually takes great pain to hide the monster she’s become. But if you acknowledge it, that brings the monster forth.” — Phil
“My god! There’s three of them.” — Luke

“I have a plan. It’s kind of conditional for people to lean when I say ‘I have a plan’.” — Phil

“Who needs your man needs to protect your woman stuff?” — Gloria

“I just came to watch the game, not the fight.” — Gloria
“Neither do I.” — Jay
“I know.” — Gloria

“My named our daughter after a pig?” — Mitchell
“Can you just witness my pain instead of criticizing?” — Cam

“My grandpa runs to his pickup truck every morning because he thinks the pitchfork is going to come back down. The tornado always wins.” — Cam

“Dad? Daddy!” — Luke
“See you later buddy.” — Phil
“What are you going to do?” — Manny
“We leave no man behind.” — Phil
“I think I’m just going to go home.” — Manny

“I always thought of women as the more evolved sex. But after today? I’ve seen things, Jay.” — Manny

“How do you catch your finger on a cracker? Anyhow, if I thought there was a fight worth fighting, I’d fight it. Ow! Now I got salt in this. That stings.” — Jay

“Better to be calm like Jay. Like Jay and me. Like Jay.” — Gloria

“Call 911!” — Haley
“Oh no…they’re so busy.” — Phil

“Your’e all monstruating!” — Luke
“Luke! No…” — Phil

“From the bottom of my heart, I am so s…. scared.” — Phil

“Must be so easy with no dirty, broken woman in the relationship.” — Claire
:::Haley, Alex, Luke laugh:::
“Why are you laughing?” — Haley to Luke

“It smells like puke married poop and had the ceremony in my nose.” — Luke
“You have a way with words.” — Manny

“First of all, that lady is my son.” — Jay
“He wasn’t talking about me.” — Mitchell

“Walk away, grandpa!” — Sea captain
:::Gloria punches sea captain:::
“Nobody call him grandpa!” — Gloria
“I do.” — Luke

“Just give me a minute.” — Mitchell
“After what you did with two hours, I can’t want to see what you do with a minute.” — Cam

“The three of you ganged up on me like when the wolfman and Dracula and Frankeinstein show up in the same movie. Except this wasn’t awesome!” — Phil

“Cam’s craziness all day wasn’t about a party. It was about turning 40. And once he realized that, everything got much worse.” — Mitchell

“And that is how they apologized to me. At least I think it was. I could never ask them.” — Phil

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