TV: The Office 8.17 “Test the Store” Best Lines

Posted: March 1, 2012 in Best Lines, Television
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The Office 8.17 “Test the Store” (**1/2) — The teams in Tallahassee get the new Sabre Store ready for its opening. Toby teaches a self-defense class after Andy gets punched by a little girl.

“Your tiny fingers make the best knots.” — Dwight

“Hey, my name is Tabitha. I’m camped out in front of the Sabre Store so I could be first in line for the new pyramid. It’s me, Erin! Dwight had me dress up as a hipster to create hype and its working. There are already people camped out behind me.” — Erin, pointing to homeless people

“I hit rock bottom when I auditioned for the Spice Girls and didn’t even get a call back.” — Nellie
“Which spice girl?” — Jim
“The black one.” — Nellie

“Bloggers. Dossier on bloggers. Bloggers are gross. Bloggesr are obese. Bloggers have halitosis. You’re going to love them.” — Dwight

“When people see this presentation, they’re going to cum in their pants.” — Ryan

“Packer, you will be the sexual predator who has come to prey on the trendy teenage girls who are obsessed with the Pyramid.” — Dwight
“I don’t see where that gets us, but I’m a team player.” — Packer
“Perfect casting, right?” — Dwight
“Schrute is out to get me. But I’m playing the long game. As soon as he messes up, I’m going to swoop in like a sexual predator.” — Packer

“I woke up at 4am by accident in time for the paper to be delivered. Guess what? It’s not a kid on a bike. It’s a man in a car.” — Kevin

“I was in the can. What’s this about a black guy in the office?” — Meredith
“Black eye, Meredith.” — Angela

“I haven’t had so much fun since seeing Zoo-ee Desk-channel at the Coucharella Music Festival. So fun.” — Erin

“Because I have neighborhood pride. 18505!” — Andy
“18505.” — Pa,
“Guy. Guys, that’s so vague. You got to do the zip plus four. 18505. Dash. 7427.” —  Daryl

“You know what you have to do.” — Dwight
:::Jim swinging sign outside store:::
“Point it towards the store, you idiot.” — Dwight

“Strike, Scream, and Run. Alright, let’s try it.” — Toby
:::Creed smacks Meredith, Yelps, Runs away:::

Why are you fixated on this transgender attacker?” — Oscar

“Can I please leave? I have a rape flute.” — Angela

“I would like to introduce you to Fatty Gruesome. He is a freelance writer for Wired Magazine.” — Dwight
“Patty Grossman. I’m a woman.” — Patty

“It seems like you’re a little nervous.” — Dwight
“Yeah, no shit Sherlock. Can somebody please tell me something encouraging?” — Ryan

“I wish Kelly were here. She always knows what to say.” — Ryan
“O Ryan, you’re so smart. You’re smarter than Mark Zuckerberg and all those Google guys combined. Heehee. Heehee.” — Dwight
“You’re so ignorant. You don’t even know what you’re talking about. You’re so ridiculous. You really need to read a couple of books.” — Ryan
“What’s a book? Hahaha.” — Dwight
“O my god. You’re so embarassing. My mom would say the best stuff though.” — Ryan
“You can. You can do it Ryan.” — Jim
“And you know that I’m capable of this.” — Ryan
You’re the only one who can do it, sweetie.” — Jim

“Why are you just standing there. Go to a nearby store and get him a yellow or green sports drink!” — Dwight

“First you get beat up by a gang. And now, she kicks your ass?” — Kevin

“I’m on break.” — Stanley, pulling out a slice of pizza out of his Pyramid bag

“Let me in. I want to see you get dressed.” — Dwight

“It has the USB Port, wireless! Will be available in 2013.” — Jim

“I’ll be the first to admit it. I could have integrated more Chuck into the presentation.” — Dwight

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