TV: New Girl 1.15 “Injured” Best Lines

Posted: March 6, 2012 in Best Lines, Television
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New Girl 1.15 “Injured” (***) — Nick injures himself after a game of football in the park and, in refusal to seeing a doctor, Jess takes him to see an OB/GYN. Meanwhile, Winston must make a decision about his car and Schmidt and Cece’s relationship reveals a more emotional side.

“What do you need?” — Jess
“Nothing from you. Please go far from me right now. I can taste my spine. Why is no one helping me? Not you. Not you!” — Nick

“You’re walking like a Disney witch.” — Jess

“I don’t have a vagina.” — Nick
“You can take mine.” — Lady in waiting room
“I heard that sista.” — Jess
“True that.” — Lady in waiting room

“You shouldn’t call them keys. That’s a paper clip that you start the car with.” — Schmidt

“Those are designed for severe menstrual cramps, so that should cure your baby back ache.” — Sadie

“Did you just Fredo kiss me?” — Nick

“Treat your body like a temple. Treat your body like a temple. He treats his like a dump. Like a dump!” — Schmidt

“I feel really warm in my uterus. Feel good. Feel real good.” — Nick

“I wish I could trade places with you. Because I would do it in a second. I’m also glad that I can’t.” — Schmidt

“Are you using your best friend’s medical crisis to feel my boobs with your face?” — Cece

“What kind of dummy fits as a washing machine using a diaper? This kind of dummy.” — Winston at a funeral

It is so weird being sober right now.” — Cece

“Nick Miller, Nick Miller, from the streets of Chicago. Cause playas play like they do like they did. Cause the ballers ball in the hood cause he’s Chi-town hustla. This song is full of Chicago, represent him cause the playas don’t play and the playas in the city.” — Schmidt

“Cause the ice in my glass represents the tears from my eye. I love you, dog!” — Schdmit

“I’m a little drunk and I can’t be too sure, but I think you’re finally about to see your best friend’s penis.” — Winston
He’s going to show his penis in the ocean and not me? Nick, wait!” — Schmidt

“I’m alive, I’m alive!” — Nick
:::Nick jumps into the water:::
“This is stupid! It’s so cold! My testicles are in my abdomen!” — Nick

“I don’t think this is the right time to bring this up, you guys. But does anyone else think that Nick could stand to lose 5-7 pounds?” — Schmidt

“When you stand up, there’s going to be perfect imprint of your butt in the sand.” — Schmidt

“I’m going to be paying in cash, actually. It’s a mixture of paper money and change. I do have a check that’s post-dated. There’s a 60/40 shot it’s going to clear.” — Nick

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