TV: Cougar Town 3.4 “Full Moon Fever” Best Lines

Posted: March 7, 2012 in Best Lines, Television
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Cougar Town 3.4 “Full Moon Fever” (**1/2) — Jules deals with trespassing teenage bike riders. Bobby falls for Travis’ professor, but Travis refuses to introduce them. Thank God Sarah Chalke is back on television. I missed her so.

“Great. They’re grossed out by the thought of us naked.” — Andy
“Not us, my friend.” — Ellie

“Sweet triple coupons.” — Jules

“They made my garden gnomes gay.” — Tom
“Actually, that was me, Tom.” — Jules

“Who got the permit for Tom’s fountain?” — Andy
“That undid six months of potty training for Sam.” — Ellie

“Come back, sweetie. Bring your point with you.” — Ellie

“Alright, Dad. Grayson in bikini briefs. Think about it.” — Travis
“It’s not a sad thing.” — Grayson

“The whole world saw Paris Hilton’s Berts and Ernies. And now she’s rich.” — Laurie
“Yeah. And now she’s rich.” — Grayson

“Wow, it is not easy having an honest moment with a kid wearing a helmet.” — Professor LeClaire

“Do you relaly want to see a middle-aged woman pee in the middle of the street? Yeah, I’d want to see that too.” — Jules

“You’re fake dating someone you’ve never met who may or may not be in the Army, who may or may not be a man, and who may or may not slice you from nose to navel when you finally meet.” — Laurie
“I wonder what he looks like. I’m hope that he’s black. Super black. Dark black is hot. Is that racist?” — Ellie

“If this man were here now, I’d throw him down and make love to him right there on the grass.” — Professor LeClaire in French
“You don’t speak French, do you?” — Professor LeClaire
“Enough.” — Travis

“My army boyfriend who is, fingers crossed, super dark black. Darker than space!” — Laurie
“That felt pretty racist.” — Ellie
“See, I say no.” — Grayson

“He even sent me a virtual promise ring. What should I send him?” — Laurie
“Your dignity?” — Ellie

“My heart feels like your sad face.” — Andy
“My face feels like your sad eyes.” — Bobby

“Hey Sig…my mom’s here now.” — Travis

“Did you say don’t know or donut?” — Ellie

“He looks sweet. He’s naked, but still sweet.” — Ellie

“What’s with the face paint?” — Grayson
“He’s doing Braveheart. I did it with lipstick.” — Jules
“Sons of Scotland!” — Andy
“O my God. He’s on a horse.” — Ellie
“Is a Braveheart a movie?” — Jules
“He’s a famous India chief.” — Grayson


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