TV: 30 Rock 6.12 “St. Patrick’s Day” Best Lines

Posted: March 15, 2012 in Best Lines, Television
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30 Rock 6.12 “St. Patrick’s Day” (***1/2) — Liz belives St. Patrick’s Day is cursed when her ex-boyfriend Dennis returns. Jenna and Tracy battle for top celebrity spot. Jack tries to beat the writers in a nerdy board game.

“Die demon!” — Tracy to leprechaun
“Why didn’t you ever call me back?” — Jenna, before slapping the same leprechaun

“Unless Harry’s Law really took off this week and no one told me, you two are the biggest stars at the network.” — Jack

“I wanted to give you this. It’s the tail I had until I was 16.” — Kenneth

“I’ll take care of Tracy and Jenna like they were my own children, which is a bad example because I left my kids at Sears in 2004.” — Hazel

“I will be wearing head-to-toe orange in honor of Protestant William of Orange, inventor of the orange, according to Yahoo Answers.” — Liz

“You in orange? You’ll look like a creamsicle with an old tooth stuck in it.” — Jack

“Without Germans, you wouldn’t have any of the Indiana Jones movies.” — Liz

“In the 90s, you gave money to the IRA.” — Jack
“I thought I was giving money to a retirement account.” — Liz

“I can’t wait till the Asians take over.” — Criss

“I tried to steal beer from a Duane Reade and a black guy coldcocked me.” — Dennis
“Like a security guard?” — Criss
“I don’t know man. I don’t see people that way.” — Dennis

“Siri, kill Jenna!” — Tracy

“The only bologna Tracy has is the bologna he’s full of.” — Jenna
“Why would you say that? You can’t take that back. Ahhh!!!!” — Tracy

“I killed Jenna Elfman. Is that right?” — Siri

“Why don’t I drive you to Sears? I’ll buy you a toy.” — Hazel

“What?! We don’t use your bathroom when you’re not here. I’m Lutz.” — Frank

“None of the writers can go out on St. Patrick’s Day because we all have faces people naturally want to punch.” — Frank

“Irish pride! Go Celtics! Celtics suck! Go Knicks!” — Dennis

“I can’t get in an ambulance. I don’t have health insurance because of Obama.” — Dennis

“I was a voluntary EMT.” — Criss
“At Burning Man. And we agreed never to talk about that.” — Liz
“At sunset, the cacti started to resemble people looking for hugs. It gets ugly, Liz.” — Criss

“Me and Criss? We’re bang brothers.” — Dennis

“Live TV is such a rush! It’s like sex, but your husband isn’t look at a picture of a bridge.” — Hazel

“Dennis Duffy is like The Terminator with cheaper sunglasses.” — Liz

“Guy with a concussion on St. Patrick’s Day? It’s like he’s a horse with a broken leg.” — Criss
“Exactly. We should shoot him.” — Liz

“I’m putting an old German curse on you…May your pornography be free of diarrhea!” — Liz

“You missed the end of the les movie. Their daughter — she goes off to college and Mark Ruffalo…he’s juts going to do his own thing with the restaurant.” — Dennis

“And I thought you were just emotionally infantile.” — Criss
“I am. Me baby!” — Liz

“We need to talk. Open a bag of wine.” — Dennis

“How would I be famous? By starting a fire and rescuing everyone from it and then I’m a hero and then I’m on Playboy?” — Hazel

“I feel helpless. Impotent.” — Jack
“Whoa! Buy me a drink first. Hahaha. Sorry, we’ve been instructed to keep it light.” — Priest

“You’re the one that got all emotional and made a fool of herself at a party.” — Dennis
“This wasn’t a party.” — Liz
“Tell me about it, Liz. It sucked.” — Dennis

“Ugh! Why do I keep doing this stuff? Is 70 not a good IQ?” — Hazel

“When I was a kid, you could get a prostitute for $5.” — Tracy

“I am a virgin. With white guys.” — Sue


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