TV: Archer 3.12 “Space Race: Part 1” Best Lines

Posted: March 15, 2012 in Best Lines, Television
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Archer 3.12 “Space Race: Part 1” (***1/2) — Archer and his colleagues at ISIS voyage to the final frontier in an effort to prevent a catastrophe on the International Space Station.

“Horizon has an international crew — American German Chinese, French.” — Commander Drake
Ba dum bum. Sorry. I thought French was a joke.” — Archer

“Is mutiny a joke, Mr. Archer?” — Commander Drake
“I don’t know. Maybe a mutiny of clowns.” — Archer

“This mission will be dangerous.” — Commander Drake
“Would you say we’d be venturing into a zone of danger?” — Archer
“Well, yes. Obviously.” — Commander Drake
“But I mean, how would you phrase that?” — Archer
“I. The zone will be one of danger?” — Commander Drake
“No I mean not if you say the thing different. Forget it. Nevermind. And you nevermind. And also, shut up.” — Archer

“Astronaut training sucks complete ass. Literally. What is the deal with all the enemas?” — Archer

“I hope to God that was alcohol.” — Mallory

“You acted without thinking.” — Commander Drake
“As always.” — Lana
“Not always.” — Archer
“Well, thank God you did.” — Commander Drake
“Almost always!” — Archer

“Even in zero gravity, you’re an asshole.” — Cyril

“Relax. Just rely on your training.” — Commander Drake
“Which we didn’t have!” — Lana

“I’m sure the mutineers are armed.” — Commander Drake
“With what? Slide rules and tang?” — Archer

“Can it be fired with an erection?” — Archer

“I want to know how you got aboard.” — Commander Drake
“What do you mean how? Mr. Archer…” — Pam
:::Archer shoots Pam in the chest:::
“Yeah. So that safety is tricky, huh?” — Archer

“Ow! Son of a shit-snacking whore.” — Pam

“Fuck you, space.” — Archer

“For God sake’s, woman. Dramamine!” — Commander Drake

“We can’t jeopardize the women.” — Commander Drake
“Cough.” — Lana

“I can barely feel my legs.” — Archer
“I call that the Moab. It stands for…” — Pam
“I know what it stands for. I was there.” — Archer

“Whoa! Charles Benedict Davenport! The father of Eugenics. Seriously guys. Read a book.” — Archer

“Welcome to the Danger Zone.” — Commander Drake


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