TV: Unsupervised “Jesse Judge Lawncare Incorporated” Best Lines

Posted: March 16, 2012 in Best Lines, Television
Tags: ,

Unsupervised “Jesse Judge Lawncare Incorporated” (**) — Gary and Joel decide to join a young entrepreneur in his lawncare service.

“I haven’t grown in ages, aside from my pit hair. It’s long as hell. I’m like freakin’ Rapunzel.” — Joel

“I swallowed a ton of [tadpoles] while I was underwater.” — Joel

“It’d be like Diddy’s yacht, but we gotta clean this bitch up first.” — Darius

“We’re making Gary’s backyard more welcoming to babes and teenage mischiefs.” — Joel

“A gringo doing my yard? I went from living a Panamanian nightmare to the American Dream.” — Martin
“Get your piece of the pie, son.” — Joel
“Hey! You’re no better than a dog. Ruff ruff. Nah, he’s a nice guy. I just always wanted to do that.” — Martin

“You can’t eat the sandwich if you can’t get the bread, eh?” — Martin

“Singular sclerosis? I’ve never heard of that one .” — Joel
“Yeah yeah. Completely gets overlooked.  Multiple is the flashy one. Singular is no walk in the park.” — Jesse

“How does he afford that? That guy has more money than Africa.” — Joel

“I can’t lift my damn arms. I shed them trying to start the mower.” — Joel

“You know mulch is mostly horse manure.” — Megan
“Really? Aw dag. I’ve been biting my nails all day.” — Gary

“Why do you think I wear these nice ass clothes? To distract them from what’s underneath, man.” — Darius

“Pocahontas would never wear something like that. She was a classy woman.” — Martin

“I guess i do have pretty good abs. It’s from running cross-country.” — Megan
“You look like Mick Jagger.” — Joel
“Yeah yeah yeah yeah. The old ass singer with the muscles like beef jerk, right? With the big lips?” — Darius

“Enjoy your Paradise 4000′s…and your malls filled with gold.” — Joel

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Comments
  1. BigMick says:

    Awww…you forgot one of my fave’s from that episode:

    (in a dejected Joel voice:) “Enjoy your Paradise 4000’s…and your malls filled with gold.”

  2. mrsubjective says:

    Haha. Thanks Big Mick. Just added it.

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