TV: Happy Endings 2.19 “You Snooze, You Bruise” Best Lines

Posted: March 27, 2012 in Best Lines, Television
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Happy Endings 2.19 “You Snooze, You Bruise” (***) — Alex coaches Dave on how to fight back against a bully at the gym. Jane learns to “sleep on it” to calm down but lets too much of herself go.

“I am going to get ripped. Deal with it.” — Dave
“I’m confident we can deal with it.” — Brad

“You go to the gym?” — Alex
“Mmm Hmm.” — Max
“An exercise gym?” — Jane

“You know what else I love? Wearing gym clothes. People see you in the street, they feel bad about themselves. Did they hit the gym today? No. Did I? Yah!” — Max
“But what did you do there?” — Brad

“Dial back the race, Dave. You had your day.” — Brad

“Max, why are you dressed up like Josh Brolin from The Goonies?” — Penny
“You noticed! She noticed!” — Max

“You hear that guy just call me a bitch?” — Dave
“Yeah and not in a good way like ‘Hey bitch. Oh my god, your skin is amazing. I want to cut your face off. I hate you.'” — Derek

“I love bad boys. Like Will Smith in the movie Bad Boys. Or Martin Lawrence in Big Mommas House.” — Max

“I like my bad boys with vaginas.” — Brad

“It’s homo slow-mo.” — Derek

“Nothing delights me more than raged exercise.” — Max

“We need to go mano y mano, compandre. Comprende? Verdad?” — Dave
“I don’t speak Spanish.” — Corey

“You be aiite dog.” — Jane
“Don’t call me that.” — Brad

“I’m going to go take a nap. Think about it. Buzz one out.” — Jane
“Buzz one out? That’s a weird way to say snoring.” — Brad

“Did he just slam my door in his face?” — Brad

“Wake up, slut.” — Penny

“And you always my haircut appointments, Jane. It’s been days. Look at all this hair. I look like Gene Wilder. I’m a monster.” — Brad

“I look like a Turkish whoremaster.” — Jane

“You should watch the gay History Channel.” — Max
“That’s a thing?” — Dave
“Yeah. It’s called Bravo.” — Derek

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