TV: Happy Endings 2.20 “Big White Lies” Best Lines

Posted: March 29, 2012 in Best Lines, Television
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Happy Endings 2.20 “Big White Lies” (***) — Penny tells a white lie that drags the whole gang into a web of deception.

“Just buy a lake house already so we can stop hearing about your big black dock.” — Alex
“Al?!” — Jane
“Oh. I was supposed to say big African American dock. I’m sorry.” — Alex

“She can never have a meaningless convo like a regular person. She just keeps asking questions like she actually cares.” — Penny

“I on the other hand would love to take you out sometime. Like a lady. Like a gentleman. I would be the gentleman and you would be the lady.” — Darren

“You mean Dr. Phil.” — Jane
“Come on. It’s a PHD. Everyone calm down.” — Penny

“I’m not Janet.” — Dave
“Classic Janet.” — Alex and Brad

“Why are you worried? You are gay.” — Dave
“You know that I love low stakes classic 80s danger.” — Max

“Serbian tradition. We never know when we have to pack up and murder a populace.” — Jane

“I can’t hold a fake baby shower. That’s got to be bad luck somewhere.” — Alex

“Seeing Jane married and pregnant has made you regret turning down the world’s greatest guy.” — Daphne
“John Krasinski?” — Alex
“Dave! I always had the biggest crush on him.” — Daphne
“John Krasinski?!” — Alex

“I am not pretending I’m pregnant anymore. This is not 8th grade gym class.” — Jane

“A suit? Why does a baby need a suit? What does he have a job or something? He’s not fooling anyone. He’s a baby!” — Brad

“I’m Ellen! Oooh boy. I figure if I’m going to be a lesbian, I might as well go up to the top.” — Alex

“That means Dave and I are going to be out of the street. I’m going to have to find a trumpet and play until a local music producer discovers my talent.” — Max

“Just pretend to be straight for ten minutes and then you can go back to being gay.” — Penny
“It’s not a choice.” — Alex

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