TV: The Big Bang Theory “The Transporter Malfunction” Best Lines

Posted: March 30, 2012 in Best Lines, Television
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The Big Bang Theory “The Transporter Malfunction” (**1/2) — Raj’s parents set him up on a date and he thinks he’s found his soul-mate. Meanwhile, Penny buys Star Trek collectibles for Leonard and Sheldon, but Sheldon begins hearing Spock’s voice after he damages one of the items.

“I hate wedding receptions. I wish the bride and groom would take a cue from Bilbo Baggins: Slip on the ring, disappear, and everyone goes home.” — Sheldon

“What a bunch of nosy O’Donnels.” — Raj

“I’m not telling. I’m Asian. I’m mysterious. Deal with it.” — Raj

“Fifty percent of marriages in divorce. But 100% of sundae bars end in happiness.” — Sheldon

“I’m not gay. If anything, I’m metrosexual.” — Raj
“What’s that?” — Mr. Koothrappali
“I like women and their skin products.” — Raj

“I want you to find me a wife.” — Raj
“A female wife?” — Mrs. Koothrappali

“Once you open the box, it loses its value.” — Leonard
“Yeah, yeah. My mom gave me the same speech about losing my virginity. I got to tell you. It’s a lot more fun taking it out and playing with it.” — Penny

“Illogical. Dammit, Spock. You’re right!” — Sheldon

“You start out by starting to make chocolate souffle. And when it falls, you panic, quickly change the name, and viola — chocolate lava cake.” — Raj

“There’s a rumor back in Delhi that you’re, how do we say, comfortable in a Sari?” — Lakshmi

“O dear! Two suns and no sunscreen.” — Sheldon

“If I got on the Enterprise, I’m never going to leave.” — Sheldon
“Trust me. It gets old.” — Mr. Spock

“Well, I am unahppy.” — Mr. Spock
I thought where you’re from, they don’t have emotions.” — Sheldon
“I come from a factory in Taiwan.” — Mr. Spock

“Why don’t you tell your parents you want to try to find someone else, maybe one that hasn’t slept with more women than you?” — Howard

“I thought you were in favor of gay people getting married.” — Raj
“Yes. To other gay people!” — Howard
“Do you hear how homophobic you sound?” — Raj


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