TV: New Girl 1.19 “Secrets” Best Lines

Posted: April 3, 2012 in Best Lines, Television
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New Girl 1.19 “Secrets” (***1/2) — Winston spills the beans about Schmidt and Cece’s relationship and the news finally spreads to Jess who does not take it well. Jess decides the roommates should be free with their secrets and that doesn’t go too well and Cece and Schmidt’s relationship goes through a bit of turmoil.

“She accidentally ate a cookie because she fell on it.” — Cece

“Jew in the couch! Jew in the couch! Hahaha.” — Nadia
“Nadia. American manners.” — Cece
“Jew person in couch.” — Nadia

“Now my back is sweating.” — Nick

“Can we just take a moment to celebrate me?” — Schmidt

“Why do you start talking like a Native American when you get angry?” — Winston
“Two moons have passed!” — Jess

“Since my 20s, I’ve had a string of lesser paramours, which like weathered stone steps have led me to the Hindu temple aka Cece because she’s Indian.” — Schmidt

“I need you to teach me to be a douchebag.” — Nick

“S.S.S. Short. Simple.” — Schmidt
“Vagina.” — Nick
“Vague. It’s actually vague.” — Schmidt

“What happened to your phone?” — Schmidt
“Jesus took it. Jesus hawking a speedboat. The environment. Bears. Family. Magic. I need your help, Schmidt.” — Nick

“I don’t want to live in a house of lies. I can’t do it anymore. Is this happening too?” — Jess, seeing Nick and Schmidt in bed together

“I thought about bangs. And your face just appeared beneath them.” — Schmidt

“You’ve all thought about me while self-completing?!” — Jess

“That’s what second base means? Then I’m not a virgin anymore.” — Jess

“A winter hat is not going to stop us from thinking about you when we delight ourselves.” — Schmidt

“Ladies, let’s not do this. At least not with our shirts on.” — Schmidt

“And when we were ten years old, I went to the movie My Girl with Jessica P. before I saw it with you. And I own a motorcycle.” — Cece
“Jessica P?! Jessica freaking P!?!?!” — Jess

“Now go away because I’m…having cereal.” — Winston

“Why do all female runners look like German women when they run?” — Nick

“I hooked up with both these girls last week. I didn’t know they knew each other. I thought they just lived in the same apartment.” — Nick

“That was so good my pants just got tight, Nick.” — Schmidt
“Now I hate me almost as much as I’ve hated you.” — Nick

“What are you trying to do with that basil, Cece? You trying to make it confess?” — Schmidt

“Do you have a mole fetish?” — Winston

“Is it huge? I’m sorry, let me rephrase that. Is it huge?” — Winston

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