TV: Community 3.14 “Pillows and Blankets” Best Lines

Posted: April 9, 2012 in Best Lines, Television
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Community 3.14 “Pillows and Blankets” (****) — What starts as a casual disagreement about blankets and pillows blossoms into all-out war on the Greendale campus between the armies of Pillowtown and Blanketsburg.

“Troy declares the declaration is lame, stating that records are dumb is stupid.” — Narrator

“Do people go to classes?” — Dean Pelton

“I knew the sound of crap when it hit the fan. You know what it sounded like? That’s right, Jackson. Silence.” — Leonard

“Unfortunately for Britta and millions of photographers like her — Just because it’s in black and white doesn’t mean it’s good.” — Narrator

“Pierce Hawthorne suffers broken glasses, a hurt finger, and erectile dysfunction, which in his words, has never happened ever before that battle.” — Narrator

“Poet by choice. Lesbian by birth.” — Amanda Johnson

“Winger’s critics suggest he merely improvised hot button patriotic dogma in a Ferris Buellerian attempt to delay schoolwork.” — Narrator

“They were later nicknamed the Changlourious Basterds. Like Inglourious Basterds. But with Chang instead of In. I don’t get it either.” — Narrator

“The war won’t stop with First Blood Part 2. It will escalate to Rambo Three, which should really be called Rambo II: First Blood Part 3. But the Rambo titles never made sense.” — Abed

“Pictured here lying down, Troy does not take Abed’s email lying down.” — Troy

“The North Cafeteria named after Admiral William North is located in the western portion of East Hall, gateway to the western half of North Hall, which is named not after William Hall, but for its position above the South Wall. It is the most contested and confusing battle field on Greendale’s campus, next to the English Memorial Spanish Center, named after English Memorial, a Portuguese sailor who discovered Greendale while looking for a fountain that cured syphilis.” — Narrator

“We’re grown-ups now. We have grown-up problems.” — Troy, while hitting Abed with a pillow

“Unless you use those magic friendship hats I made for you.” — Jeff
“We’re not stupid, Jeff. We know you made those sarcastically.” — Troy

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