TV: Don’t Trust the B—- in Apartment 23 1.1 “Pilot” Best Lines

Posted: April 12, 2012 in Best Lines, Television
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Don’t Trust the B—- in Apartment 23 1.1 “Pilot” (**) — When naive June is scammed by her new roommate Chloe, she decides to turn the tables on her and by doing so earns Chloe’s respect. My overall feeling on this show? Eh. Wait and see. But seriously Eh. James Van Der Beek provides some easy real-life humor, but I’m not sure how long that can possibly last.

“I hear that bread out there is like $4 a loaf. Don’t buy bread. I will send you bread!” — June’s mom

“Imagine trying to put a cucumber into a coin purse.” — Chloe

“I wrote a rap in Christian camp. It’s called “Jesus is my n word.” — June

“Did she get you to put on flannel?” — Chloe
“We’re negotiating.” — James Van Der Beek

“It’s like I’m Jessica Tandy and that tub is Hume Cronyn.” — Chloe

So you like to rub-a-dub-dub in the tub?” — James Van Der Beek

“I don’t wanna wait!” — June
“Yep. That’s the song.” — James Van Der Beek

“You can still love grandma’s ottoman and still want to make money on pills.” – Chloe

“Anyone want to get weird and play Mario Kart?” — Chloe

“Don’t be a blond dude in a Vietnamese jail, June. That’s the real life lesson here.” — James Van Der Beek

“It came at a price. I got a lot of icing on my crack.” — Chloe

  1. darci says:

    So Chloe having sex with June’s fiancé on top of her birthday cake in order to show her that he’s a cheater is the nicest thing anybody’s ever done for June? Hahaha that’s all it took for me to be sold on this ridiculously hilarious/raunchy/absurd show. Extra kudos for having the song “Infinity Guitars” by Seigh Bells playing in the background the whole time.

    Also, James Van Der Beek as a fictionalized version of himself is about the funniest thing since Neal Patrick Harris in the Harold and Kumar movies (well, at least #1 and #3)

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