TV: South Park 16.6 “I Should Have Never Gone Ziplining” Best Lines

Posted: April 22, 2012 in Best Lines, Television
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South Park 16.6 “I Should Have Never Gone Ziplining” (****) — In the spirit of reality shows such as Animal Planet’s I Shouldn’t Be Alive (and incorporating that show’s narrator Eric Meyers), the four boys go to the Colorado Mountains to try ziplining, but their trip keeps taking unexpected turns.

“Cold sore is what girls call it, Kenny. You have herpes.” — Cartman

“In a tour group, the brain has to work overtime, acting nice and pretending to care about people on the tour.” — Narrator

“Inside Kyle’s mouth, the muscles contract to force a smile even though in his brain, he’s saying ‘Dude, fuck you.” — Narrator

“Really, you’re going to make us all listen to it again because you couldn’t understand? Really?” — Stan

“His brain is already lacking excitement. And now, just the word ‘shuttle’ makes Kyle’s brain fire neurons that bring up memories of just how shuttles can be.” — Narrator

“What they don’t realize is that a massive storm is brewing. Last night, Eric Cartman had Kung Pow spaghetti from California Pizza Kitchen.” — Narrator

“Dude, did you fart?” — Kyle
“Umm…no?” — Cartman

“It was like having the life having sucked out of you. It’s just sliding down a cable. Maybe without a tour group, it’d be kind of fun. Maybe.” — Stan

“Anyone have any questions about the creek we’re about to cross?” — Tour guide
“Yes!” — Douche

“I’m so fucking bored!” — Cartman, while on the zip line

“But what they don’t realize is that Eric’s body is already shutting down from Stage 4 diarrhea.” — Narrator

“Dude, did you just shit your pants?” — Kyle
“Umm…no?” — Cartman

“Stop drinking Double Dew, fatass.” — Kyle
“This is Diet Double Dew, Kyle It only has half the caffeine and sugar as Double Dew.” — Cartman

“If I crap in the woods, the blood will attract beavers, Kyle.” — Cartman

“I should have never thought horseback riding was any better than ziplining.” — Narrator

“Why do people say long story short? They’re not making it short, Stan.” — Kyle

“If the boys fall asleep now from the lack of excitement, they could die.” — Narrator

“You sold us out for an iPod nano?” — Kyle
“I had no idea ziplining would be so boring.” — Stan
“You. You killed Kenny!” — Cartman
“You bastard! You bastard, Stan!” — Kyle

“How many iPod nanos is friendship worth? I guess one.” — Kyle

“His awareness videos became so popular that Stan once again  ended up jacking it in San Diego.” — Narrator

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