TV: 30 Rock 6.18 “Murphy Brown Lied to Us” Best Lines

Posted: April 23, 2012 in Best Lines, Television
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30 Rock 6.18 “Murphy Brown Lied to Us” (***1/2) — In the episode, Liz reconsiders her decision to not have a child; Jenna stages a celebrity breakdown to bring Paul back to her; and Jack  runs into production problems at his new couch factory.

“Look at you. All sweaty with your tool belt and your 90s haircut. You look like you’re in a gay porno.” — Liz
“Oh yeah? You’re one to talk, buddy.” — Criss

“You have a baby name book and you circled Adolf?” — Criss
“Actually,  I borrowed that book from my mother. So be glad I’m not a boy.” — Liz

“We have been creating and solving this country’s problems for 200 years. Where’s our history month?” — Jack

“Nixon has been dead for almost 20 years. Not in cyrogenic hibernation, resting up for 2016.” — Jack

“I didn’t get to work an hour late just to be the first one here.” — Tracy

“I’m just having a celebrity breakdown. It’s the new sex tape, something I’d wish I’d known before I released my sex tape with the Six Flags guy.” — Jenna

“You’re the one who insisted on hiring American engineers. All they teach us now is how to build roller coasters and Survivor challenges.” — Stewart

“I cannot give it to you. I’m a married man. But more importantly, I find you very unattractive.” — Tracy

“Maybe I’ll get the acceptance every 39-year old man craves from his girlfriend’s boss.” — Criss

“When did we get so soft? You know what this country used to sit on? Logs. Girders. Poles. Being comfortable? That’s not what America is all about. Kouchtown. Sit down or get out of the way.” — Hank in Kouchtown commercial

“David Blaine…” — David
“I can see you’re on a skateboard, David.” — Jenna
“This is why we broke up, Jenna.” — David

“You weren’t the only student I dated, but you were the only one who shot my wife.” — Jenna’s teacher

” I tried to get my high school tennis team to call me Ace, but they wanted to call me Shorts Accident. So we settled on Super Virgin.” — Liz

“Where’s Kev? It’s Game Go!” — Criss

“Jenna, I’ve been thinking…” — Tracy
“Why? You’re famous!” — Jenna

“I’ve never made a mistake, so I don’t understand. But I’m here for you.” — Tracy

“You’re being so trans-vaginal right now.” — Liz

“I know how to get Avery Jessup home!” — Mr. Wang (in Korean)
“I totally blew off that week of Korean we did. Let’s get the translator.” — CIA Interrogator

“When did gum get so soft, you sons of bitches? You know what this country use to chew? Tree bark. Glass. Shotgun shells. The broken swords of our vanquished enemies. That’s why I buy Bazooka Joe Gum. It’s like chewing a mountain that someone shot a freeze ray into. What’s wrong with this country? Huh? When did we lose our way? Detroit? Life is hard. Shouldn’t everything else be harder?” — Hank in Bazooka Joe Gum commercial


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