TV: How I Met Your Mother 7.23/7.24 “The Magician’s Code” Best Lines

Posted: June 3, 2012 in Best Lines, Television
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How I Met Your Mother 7.23/7.24 “The Magician’s Code” (**) — Lily is in labor while Marshall and Barney desperately try to return from Atlantic City. Ted, with the help of Robin, begin to call back an old flame.

“A man. A woman. And their best friend embark on an incredible journey. Lily’s cervix is dilating and we want you all to be part of the grand opening!’ — Ted

“Stop it! I’m not a farm animal, but give me that sugar cube?” — Lily

“Daddy, I’m scared.” — Lily
“You should be. I researched this. You could bleed to death. You could have your jaw removed due to infection. And the anesthesia could suddenly stop working, much like your mom and my marriage.” — Mickey

“Your Uncle Marshall has faced many challenges in his life, but he still considers getting up these two steps when he was this drunk to be the hardest one of all.” — Marshall

“I remember that suit. He used to look like a kid’s imaginary friend.” — Lily

“He said this bus was full of hot, college seniors. Okay. Maybe he didn’t say hot. Or college.” — Barney

“Come with me if you want to bang.” — Barney

“Sometimes, the universe sends exactly what you ask for. Other times, it sends Lily’s dad.” — Ted

“The middle name is…wait for it.” — Marshall
“What is it? I can’t wait.” — Lily
“No. It’s wait for it.” — Marshall
“That is the coolest middle name of all time!” — Lily

“At your age, erectile dysfunction is nothing to be ashamed of, Marv.” — Robin

“Victoria was great.” — Ted
“Exactly. And you threw it all away for a hot piece of ass.” — Robin
“You mean, you?” — Ted
“Thank you.” — Robin

“If I stole a scalpel and cut you open, all I would find is a scared, trembling pile of crap.” — Robin
“See. I missed these talks.” — Ted

“I forbid you to use your overhead camera that zooms in on whoever is the loudest.” — Quinn
“Noooooooooooooo.” — Barney

“I make compositions. Robin makes excuses. Click. Photo burn.” — Ted

“Tell us what’s in the box right now.” — Airport security
“I can’t. Magician’s code.” — Barney

“That’s Barney’s version. Quinn’s version said it was a simple card trick. Who can tell which version was true? Quinn’s. Quinn’s version was true.” — Ted

“I dropped Cuervo on Marv’s soft spot.” — Lily

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