TV: Modern Family 3.21 “Planes, Trains & Cars” Best Lines

Posted: June 3, 2012 in Best Lines, Television
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Modern Family 3.21 “Planes, Trains & Cars” (***1/2) — Phil buys a convertible without Claire’s permission. Cam and Mitchell try to find Lily’s stuffed animal they lost in an outing. Jay takes Gloria and Manny to Pebble Beach to meet up with his old high school friends.

“What do I have to say to get you to say “What do I have to say to get you into this car today?” — Phil

“This thing warns you when you deviate from your lane. In my life, that’s my wife.” — Andre

“Just a quick trip to Chinatown.” — Mitchell
“I was worried she would think we were taking her back to Vietnam, but she seemed okay.” — Cam
“Probably because she was an infant when she left Vietnam. Also, Vietnam is not China.” — Mitchell
“Well, I had a lollipop with me just in case.” — Cam

“I was Purell-ing!” — Mitchell

“Let’s ride the next train till it catches up.” — Cam
“They don’t catch up. That’s called a collision.” — Mitchell

Let’s take her out for a spin. Take the top down and let’s see what she can do. No. I meant, the convertible.” — Phil

“Man, those were the good old days.” — Jay
“Unless you were black, Hispanic, or gay.” — Gloria
“True. But if you were a straight white guy who played football, you couldn’t have a bad day.” — Jay

“Can I tell her? I don’t ask for much.” — Alex

“It’s dad’s car. Not yours.” — Alex
“What? But you’re too old for this. This is just like last year when you wouldn’t take off those skinny jeans.” — Haley
“Wouldn’t or couldn’t?” — Alex

“What just happened?” — Phil
“She did not blink once.” — Andre

“You’re an adult. You can make your own choices.” — Claire
“Since when.” — Phil

“What are sympathetic eyes?” — Mitchell
“Not those.” — Cam

“It was my turn to be irresponsible. And luckily, I had sunscreen in my purse.” — Claire

“We’re not some one-horse town. Of course you can rent a car. It just so happens it’s out for the day.” — Mechanic

“I did not get out of the little plane to get one that little thing that go taka taka taka flown by this man who could not fix our car.” — Gloria

“Where’s Bunny now?” — Lily
“He’s in St. Louis visiting his girlfriend.” — Mitchell
“Bunny doesn’t have a girlfriend. He has a boyfriend.” — Lily
“Awwwww.” — Mitchell and Cam

“Really? You don’t know Nemo? It’s on an endless loop in the den.” — Cam
“I have a job.” — Mitchell

“All that stress completely disappeared. And so did my keys.” — Claire

“You know how many times I had to say goodbye to a furry friend on the farm?” — Cam
“And didn’t it make you stronger?” — Mitchell
“Yeah because I was a growing boy and they were chock full of protein.” — Cam

“I’m going post these up on the wall to the homeless guy.” — Mitchell
“Mitchell!” — Cam
“What? What am I supposed to say now? Home-challenged?” — Mitchell

“This is not the massage I had in mind.” — Manny, on a vibrating bed

“Phil, I did cart wheels.” — Claire
“Without me?” — Phil

“Your wife won’t let you have a convertible, will she?” — Phil
“We will never know cause I will never ask.” — Andre


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