TV: Community 3.19 “Curriculum Unavailable” Best Lines

Posted: June 8, 2012 in Best Lines, Television
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Community 3.19 “Curriculum Unavailable” (***1/2) — The group goes to a psychiatrist to deal with their expulsion.

“It’s bagel bites in a deconstructed hot pocket with a Doritos glaze. I just really wanted to make my food, you know?” — Troy

“Anyway, walk to your cars in pairs tonight. Rape’s up 8%.” — Officer

“He’s usually adorable weird, like Mork from Mork. But since we’ve got expelled, he’s been creepy weird. Like present-day Robin Williams.” — Troy

“I don’t deal in crazy. I deal in help.  So how long as Abed needed a crazy amount of help?” — Dr. Heidi

“Brett Ratner is a master at everything. I’m going to say it. He’s the new Spielberg.” — Shirley
“You’re a bad person. You’re a bad person.” — Abed

“Who among us hasn’t have the odd banana in his or her pants?” — Jeff
“I have.” — Britta

“Here. Take my jacket. Just don’t eat anything or drink anything and no sweating. No penning at the elbows and no chairs with backrests. Wooden hangers only. You’re probably warm now, right?” — Jeff

“Do you all partake in these misadventures?” — Dr. Heidi
“Take that back. Our adventures are very manly!” — Troy

“He’s unique. Like a snowflake, who gets bent out of shape when you mix up Star Wars and Star Trek.” — Shirley

“It wasn’t all bad. I was there longer than anybody and I’m fine. How are you? Why do you ask? 3:30.” — Pierce
“Hahah. Uh oh!” — Troy

“We’ve have a few students with birthdays today. But hey, why single them out? What about the students who aren’t celebrating anything at all? Are they any less special?” — Dean Pelton

“You can’t go back there.” — Dr. Heidi
“Why? Because it’s not healthy?” — Britta
“No. Because it doesn’t exist.” — Dr. Heidi
“Ah! I parked by a meter. Did any of you park by a meter? Wait, What?!” — Troy

“You all came to this community college after your last fractured pill addiction, failed legal career, broken marriage, lost scholarship. old.” — Dr. Heidi
“Enough. I don’t want to hear mine.” — Britta

“You all shared this delusion with each other. Like that time when all those people got into swing dance music in the 90s.” — Dr. Heidi

“The Indian kid was right.” — Dr. Heidi
“He’s Arabic.” — Shirley
“Also Polish.” — Abed

“Shh. I’m trying to predict future crimes.” — Chang
“Ah! Now I’m sick.” — Dean Pelton
“See! You said that would happen. You are a precog!” — Chang


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