TV: The Office 8.22 “Fundraiser” Best Lines

Posted: June 9, 2012 in Best Lines, Television
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The Office 8.22 “Fundraiser” (**) — After Andy gets fired from the office, he attends a fundraiser and sees Robert California there.

“I hate ties. I feel like I’m being strangled like I’m at some erotic asphyxiation sex club over on I-84. The Red Room, say? Or Dominick’s?” — Robert

“I knew this would happen. Everybody told me that if I moved to America, I’d be murdered.” — Nellie

“Tonight could be the night that Daryl and I go from casual work friends to actual good friends. The only thing standing in our way is the contempt he seems to feel for me.” — Nellie

“O man! This is weird!” — Kevin

“I just bid $20 on six jujitsu lessons. No one’s raping this guy!” — Creed
“I don’t want to get raped! $22…” — Creed
“It was my idea to not be raped!” — Kevin

“I guess he’s the stupid guy in the office. Cause up till now, we didn’t have one.” — Kevin

“Hey jabroni. Show some class.” — Meredith
“She’s right, Andy. You’re being a jabroni.” —  Stanley
“You’re being a Thomas Oregon!” — Andy

“Life isn’t Downton Abbey.” — Jim
“Life is Downton Abbey.” — Pam

“He doesn’t think Jim is gay. A gay man wouldn’t leave the house wearing those shoes.” — Oscar
“A gay man wouldn’t leave the store wearing those shoes.” — Pam
“Hey. You bought me these shoes.” — Jim

“I am going to take that bitch home. That is a female dog reference. This bitch understands loyalty. Sassy human reference.” — Andy

“I’d have to be a monster to root for that. A lonely, raging monster.” — Oscar

“Speech!” — Jim

“Sometimes, I feel like everyone I work with is an idiot. And by sometimes, I mean all times. All the times. Every of the time.” — Kevin

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