TV: How I Met Your Mother 8.1 “Farhampton” Best Lines

Posted: October 5, 2012 in Best Lines, Television
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How I Met Your Mother 8.1 “Farhampton” (***1/2) — A little ways down the road, Ted tells the story of the moments after Victoria left her husband at the altar. Meanwhile, it is revealed to Quinn that Barney used to date Robin.

“I’d have a better time at home. It’s corn flower blue! It’s corn flower blue!” — Ted

“Got it! Man! That sonofabitch have been in there since breakfast. Robin 1, Poppy Seed 0.” — Robin

“Would you guys be my bridesmaids?” — Quinn
“We’d be honored!” — Marshall

“When you leave someone at the altar, you leave a note. It’s common courtesy!” — Ted

“I’ll tell you everything. The whole story.” — Barney
“Fine. You have one minute before I walk through that door.” — Quinn
“Uh, it’s a long story. Gonna take a little longer than a minute.” — Barney
“52 seconds.” — Quinn
“Seven years ago, when Marshall and Lily got engaged, Ted saw Robin across a crowded room and I said ‘Oh yeah. You know she likes it dirty’ but Ted really liked her so we played ‘Have you met Ted?’ They went to dinner, he walked her home, should’ve kissed her. Didn’t. Lame. So he stole a smurf penis, went back to her place. Should’ve kissed her. Didn’t. Lame. He threw parties. They kissed on the roof. But decided to be friends. Lame. Then Ted wanted to take Robin to a wedding. She couldn’t go. He went alone. Met Victoria. Didn’t kiss her either. Lame. Not a great closer, Ted. But he finally kissed her. They started dating. She went to Germany. Ted kissed Robin. Lost Victoria. Ted did a rain dance. Got Robin. Ted and Robin broke up. Robin moved to Brazil. Came back with a Latin stud. Ted got jealous. Got a tramp stamp. Not really relevant to the story. I just like mentioning that as much as possible. I hooked up with Robin.  Ted and I stopped being friends. Ted got hit by a bus. We made up. Robin and I started dating. I got fat. Her hair fell out. We broke up. Robin dated Don. I dated Nora. Cheated on her with Robin. I dumped Nora. Robin dated Kevin, but not for long. Then I met you and you took my grandpa’s watch, but I fell in love with you anyway. And you let me fart in front of you. And I asked you to marry me. And you said yes. And you came over here and that’s everything. Also, I went on Price is Right and I won a dune buggy.” — Barney

“She let you fart in front of her?” — Lily


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