TV: 30 Rock 6.11 “Standards and Practices” Best Lines

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30 Rock 6.11 “Standards and Practices” (***) — Kenneth’s new position in Standards gives him new authority over Liz. Jack and Kaylee battle wits for a second time. Jenna meets her “daughters.”

“Kids and the whole family can watch together, not your usual sitcom crap full of gratuitous vulgarity and prank falls.” — Jack
“Oh my penis!” — Extra.

“None of these little condom accidents can actually make me cry.” — Jenna

“That was my angriest hug because that’s how I feel right now.” — Hank

“And a wonderful new show from D.L. Hughley that’s already been cancelled.” — Kenneth

“In college, I once went on a hunger strike to protest apartheid.” — Liz
“Oh, you solved that? Thank you so much!” — Tracy

“Jack vs. Kaylee Round 2. Colon. No subtitle necessary.” — Jack

“How can we do fart doctor without the word fart?” — Liz
“I’m surprised they let you say doctor. It’s so close to gynecologist, which is disgusting.” — Kenneth

“Autocorrect. I was trying to say pen organizer.” — Liz

“Wait, which Vicky? Fat Vicky?” — Jack
“Vicky P! Are you even listening?” — Kaylee

“My mom is in Indonesia visiting a charity where poor children make shoes.” — Kaylee

“You can’t say ‘using’ on TV. That implies drug use.” — Kenneth

“No you can’t. That’s an order. I stole that line from an episode of JAG, but it applies here.” — Kenneth

“Were you a difficult teenager?” — Jack
“Well, I was voted head of the PTA, so…no.” — Liz

“I could get her expelled, sent off to some second-rate boarding school and then on to that last bastion of the incompetent USC.” — Jack

“She’s a teenage girl. She’s vicious and vulnerable. She might be completely lying like when I was 15 and told everyone that I had already gotten my period. Or she could be in real trouble, like when I was 17 and got my period at a very loosely-supervised petting zoo.” — Liz

“Once again, Lemon, I leave your office more confused than when I entered. But having glimpsed another tile in your rich mosaic that is your menstrual history.” — Jack

“It’s more like The Girls Next Door and you’re that old boat captain that shows up sometime.” — Jessica
“That’s Hugh Hefner, Jessica” — Jenna
“Yeah, we have no idea who that is, so you’re kind of just proving our point.” — Jessica

“It’s stressful enough to have my own wastebasket that I have to fill everyday.” — Kenneth

“Me too. I’m Kenneth…….Toilet Hole.” — Liz, pretending to be a man in the bathroom

“You can do this job. and I do respect you.” — Liz
“Then wash my feet with your hair.” — Kenneth

“Son of a dingbat!” — Jack

“He’s going to NYU to study acting.” — Kaylee
:::Jack giggles and snorts uncontrollably:::

“I finally understand the ending ofThe Sixth Sense. Those names are people who worked on a movie.” — Tracy