TV: 30 Rock 6.11 “Standards and Practices” Best Lines

Posted: March 8, 2012 in Best Lines, Television
Tags: ,

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30 Rock 6.11 “Standards and Practices” (***) — Kenneth’s new position in Standards gives him new authority over Liz. Jack and Kaylee battle wits for a second time. Jenna meets her “daughters.”

“Kids and the whole family can watch together, not your usual sitcom crap full of gratuitous vulgarity and prank falls.” — Jack
“Oh my penis!” — Extra.

“None of these little condom accidents can actually make me cry.” — Jenna

“That was my angriest hug because that’s how I feel right now.” — Hank

“And a wonderful new show from D.L. Hughley that’s already been cancelled.” — Kenneth

“In college, I once went on a hunger strike to protest apartheid.” — Liz
“Oh, you solved that? Thank you so much!” — Tracy

“Jack vs. Kaylee Round 2. Colon. No subtitle necessary.” — Jack

“How can we do fart doctor without the word fart?” — Liz
“I’m surprised they let you say doctor. It’s so close to gynecologist, which is disgusting.” — Kenneth

“Autocorrect. I was trying to say pen organizer.” — Liz

“Wait, which Vicky? Fat Vicky?” — Jack
“Vicky P! Are you even listening?” — Kaylee

“My mom is in Indonesia visiting a charity where poor children make shoes.” — Kaylee

“You can’t say ‘using’ on TV. That implies drug use.” — Kenneth

“No you can’t. That’s an order. I stole that line from an episode of JAG, but it applies here.” — Kenneth

“Were you a difficult teenager?” — Jack
“Well, I was voted head of the PTA, so…no.” — Liz

“I could get her expelled, sent off to some second-rate boarding school and then on to that last bastion of the incompetent USC.” — Jack

“She’s a teenage girl. She’s vicious and vulnerable. She might be completely lying like when I was 15 and told everyone that I had already gotten my period. Or she could be in real trouble, like when I was 17 and got my period at a very loosely-supervised petting zoo.” — Liz

“Once again, Lemon, I leave your office more confused than when I entered. But having glimpsed another tile in your rich mosaic that is your menstrual history.” — Jack

“It’s more like The Girls Next Door and you’re that old boat captain that shows up sometime.” — Jessica
“That’s Hugh Hefner, Jessica” — Jenna
“Yeah, we have no idea who that is, so you’re kind of just proving our point.” — Jessica

“It’s stressful enough to have my own wastebasket that I have to fill everyday.” — Kenneth

“Me too. I’m Kenneth…….Toilet Hole.” — Liz, pretending to be a man in the bathroom

“You can do this job. and I do respect you.” — Liz
“Then wash my feet with your hair.” — Kenneth

“Son of a dingbat!” — Jack

“He’s going to NYU to study acting.” — Kaylee
:::Jack giggles and snorts uncontrollably:::

“I finally understand the ending ofThe Sixth Sense. Those names are people who worked on a movie.” — Tracy

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Comments
  1. Lee says:

    The autocorrect pen organizer joke was totally lost on me. I’d love to be enlightened.

  2. mrsubjective says:

    I’m not entirely sure either. But I’m pretty sure it’s an inside joke within the cast. The first word definitely came out as “penis” and I’m trying to figure out what the second word is still….

    • NerdyDillinger says:

      It took my girlfriend and I a rewind or two to finally get it. Jack says a nemesis can be anyone or anything. Liz’s nemesis being a thing, Autocorrect. Now as far as what she was typing, my girlfriend says it was penis orgasm. I think she is right.

    • Tyler says:

      That’s why I’m here. Not sure, but probably penis inside joke.

  3. Theophrastus says:

    Second word is probably “organ sizer.”

  4. Andrew says:

    Something along the lines of penis orgasm would be my guess. I don’t think we’re supposed to fully “get it”.

  5. mrsubjective says:

    I think NerdyDillinger definitely his this nail on its head. Thanks to your gf

  6. nick says:

    This episode was full of great one-liners but you missed the best one:

    Tracy: I finally understand the ending of the sixth sense. Those names are people who worked on a movie.”

  7. mrsubjective says:

    Hahaha, that’s great Nick! 30 Rock is one of the few shows where almost every other line is comedic gold. I laughed out (way too) loud when you reminded me of that line. Good catch.

  8. pleaseexplain says:

    Okay, maybe I’m dumb, but what did that mean? What names? And was Jack referring to Kado Kalin??

  9. mrsubjective says:

    Tracy was confused about the credits at the end of The Sixth Sense. He now understands that they worked on the movie (as opposed to Bruce Willis being dead all along).

    I don’t think there was a Kato Kaelin reference in this episode, but I could be wrong. Which line were you referring to?

  10. darcel says:

    good program

  11. ‘Cato’ from The Pink Panther films : )

    ’30 Rock’ = amazing writing!

    • Jon says:

      This is one of my fav episodes. I really liked this line:
      Liz: “Do you have a second, Kenneth?”
      Kenneth: “No, there’s only one of me—what? What are you asking?!”

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